leaning unreservedly

On being open to love. . . To be open to love mustn't one be open to Him as love first? Opening every avenue of my being, of my life, and of my future fully and unreservedly to Him. Being the only true Love I should not be afraid to trust my entire life, being, and future to Him. On the contrary of being afraid of love I could say, I love Love. And according to the high peak of the divine revelation, I can also say that I am becoming Love in life and nature but not in the Godhead. Hmmm. Now there is an interesting thought. Of course I am not fully there yet, just in the process of it. Darn life-long slow process. Sometimes I just wish it would hurry up and happen. It seems like it would just be so useful in all my life and living today in this age. Hmmm. Now there is another thought. Purhaps there is some enjoyment as God as our love in this age, even if not in full. I just need to learn how to plug in to that source and stay there. I suppose that Love is in my mingled Spirit, right. And that is where I should live, move, and have my being every second of every day. . . but how do you do that? O Lord, How!? It's not that I just want to live a perfect life, never doing anything wrong, but I do realize how much my person/self affects others and I wish that I could just touch people with His Love rather than my own. Someone once told me that because I am in this life-long process and I have been exercising to live one spirit with the Lord that it's quite possible that a feeling I have may very well be of the Lord. . . That I may be more one with the Lord in my soul than I realize. However, I also just heard/read in the Song of Songs footnotes that even a person at the peak of thier Christian experience, being fully one with the Lord, needs to lean wholy on their Beloved, not trusting on themselves. I know that I am not even at the base, let alone the peak of my Christian experience. . . therefore so much the more I should have the realization that I cannot trust myself and must lean wholy on my Beloved. Hmmm. . . I think I will have more on this later.