"in the name of jesus"... who are they fooling?!

i'm shocked by the things people are doing these days "in the name of jesus". what has christianity come to? there is this ad both on a billboard and in a texas newspaper advertising a virtual hell. depicting senerioes with live actors to try to scare young people away from immoral activities (including a rape scene and an abortion gone 'wrong'... uh, hello?!)... what's worse is that it is put together by a pastor of some 'local' church. [headline reads... local church sends vistors to hell...] uh, nice try satan, in corrupting the title 'local church'. grrr.

another thing... ok, so if you are educated you would realize that all holidays can be traced back to some pagan/satanic orgin. sorry, it's just a fact... if you don't believe me, just check them out... even, and especially the 'religious' holidays,... but of course, some are more blatant than others.... namely halloween for one... i mean, hello!? it screams satanic. but others try to disguise their satanic nature behind a religious thought... see encyclopedia on the origin of christmas and this too, uh, and this one also.

and another thing, have you ever thought there was something odd about when you look around your neighborhood at all the ghosts, skeletons, and goblins decoring all the houses... and then come this time next month, angels, satan (oops, i mean, santa) clauses, and baby Jesus' will be taking their place...all without a second thought on how contradictory they are.

and i am serious!

will someone please do something about the burly man in the hooter's costume waiting tables at papasito's this afternoon!!?? that just shouldn't be allowed. i don't care if it's hell-o-ween. honestly it didn't look sanitary even. uh, people,... check your food for body hair. ewgh! and i am serious!!

guilty of checking out the man in the firefighter costume.
and of thinking he was cute.

quote for the day

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

guilty of finding this quote on a blog i frequently enjoy reading... thanks sherrie baby.

and of wishing you were here.

all my exes live in texas...

...i have so much fun with that line. though what's scary is that it's somewhat true too. admittedly i worried that returning to this land, even for a visit, would restir any buried feelings along those lines, but it hasn't. i was able place a cap on the most recent of texas exes at the start of this trip. and i was thankful for that. it's good to have a fresh start here... so refreshing.

hmmm... perhaps this should be written in my "drunk on fatigue" blog. it's much a vain little babble...

Lord, i still love You...

Love, it's a crazy thing. But to love seems even more a crazy thing.

It's interesting, but often I feel like I just don't love Him... however, recently I was reminded to just keep telling Him that I love Him... over and over again, saying... "Lord Jesus, I love You." "Lord Jesus, I love You." sometimes by saying this in such a repetitive way, I would get the feeling that I'm trying to convence myself that I still love Him... and I worry that telling Him I love Him runs the risk of having to give up all my other loves when i'm not ready to let them go. to me, loving Him, or atleast telling Him I loved Him was not that "safe" of a thing to do. but last night I read something in chpt two of Life and Building in the Song of Songs in a home mtg...

"Just love Him... do not care for anything else... no other way is so SAFE, so rich, and so full of enjoyment."

And I was reminded that as long as we love Him from the deepest part of our being, everything will be alright. And u know what? We don't have to worry about being hypocritical, because there is LOVE that He has poured out in our hearts for Him in the DEPTHS of our being... in our spirit!! Because He is in our spirit, and He is Love (1 john 4:8) and as long as we stand one with that part of our being and declare, "Lord, I love you... Lord, I still love You... Lord, You know that I love You!..." we are speaking the truth, no matter what our actions speak... and what's awesome is that when we stand with that part of our being... and declare that we love Him... more of His love is poured out in our hearts... we are being painted, permeated, satuated just a little more with His element... and His heart's desire is taking place!! wow! His desire for us to love Him does not require us to let go of everything else first... it's been my experience that even in the midst of my pursuit of other things, as long as i open and just tell Him, "Lord, I still love You," He adds a little more of Himself into my being, still allowing me to do what i do... until eventually without any sense of loss that other thing isn't tugging at my heart anymore... it's really sweet. of course, sometimes i TRY to LET GO of something before i've allowed the Lord to fill that part and it's really all in my own self effort, and hence, a completely painful process... so i don't recommend doing it that way. the Lord's filling doesn't always occur all at once, so you need not worry that telling Him you love Him is going to make you do something you don't want to do... the Lord doesn't make us do anything. it's importand to see that it's not in what we can do for Him out of our own effort, or in how we act(in choosing good over evil, right over wrong), but in how much we exercise to stand ONE with that part of our being, our spirit and allow Him to add Himself to us. everyday He is just waiting for those opportunities for us to open, tell Him we love Him, and to be dispensed into our very being. the fact is, we do love Him...dispite our feelings, dispite what our actions were, and dispite the outward circumstances... we love Him. isn't that sweet!? wow.

so whatever you do today, just remember to tell Him that you love Him... don't let the enemy tell you that you're a hypocite. rather, stand not with your actions, but with your spirit. let Him saturate you more with Himself. then carry on with your day, responding to His drawing with more "lord i love You's" not caring for right or wrong, good or evil, or even letting go... just love Him. do not care for anything else, just love Him.

Lord, I love u, I still love You...
mlejane

it's possible pig

it's possible pig. anything is.

r u really even living?

places i've lived, yet not really lived... i was thinking the other day, though i have spent a significant amount of time in a place, can i say i really lived there if my world didn't barely touch the fringes of that place? i mean, i grew up in portland, but i was never allowed downtown. my world was my parent's house in the suburbs... little community destinations, the parks and gresham skate world, the mall, mcdonalds on mclaughlin blvd, places like that. it wasn't until i entered college that i began to branch out and explore the city i grew up in. then i left for university... and austin became, "home" to me... i explored a little... and there are places that became familiar to me, but still... my world was my education and a church life... (there was a price to pay for that... but w/ no regrets!). of course there will always be places that you don't get to when you are exploring... there's always something to do that u haven't done before in a place that you've lived (unless, of course, you're from pullman... sorry guys, but you'd have to admit, it's probably true).

...uhm i've got to head to bed... to be continued...

t-shirt sheets

i just slept in one of the most comfortable of beds. house sitting is da bomb! their guest room has those awesome t-shirt sheets...awh sooo cozy. and the bed must have this extra foam cushion or something on it, because i just sink into it and got all coziedup to pooh and slept like a baby after the noise stopped outside this morning. well, i was up late again, so i slept til11am. crazy crazy me. (but it's on my side to say that i'm still living in another time zone... that would be like staying up til 2am and getting up at 9am... not bad, not bad at all.). --see, i won't change the time... check it out.

it's raining cats and dogs!

it's been a long time since i have experienced the texas rain. it has been pouring... literally for over three hours... without any sign of letting up. flashes of lighting are casting shadows on the walls of my room and the thunder is shaking the walls of the house... reaching even to the blood in my veins. woah!! had i known that this was going to happen tonight, i would have maybe had someone stay with me. i can't sleep... even though i love the sound of rain. the thunder spills too often to even begin a sleep cycle. oh my gosh!! there is a second FLOOD ALERT in my area... i can believe it... i can't see the roads anymore out my window. i'm glad i am not out driving right now. that would be insane. the only good thing to come out of all this is that the temperature has fallen from the 93F that is was to 76F... what miracle! i'm still afraid to step outside after it's over... it still could feel much like a sauna.

courtisy of WeatherBug:

There are 2 active alerts issued by the National Weather Service for 78745

ALERT 1 - Flood Statement

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A FLOOD STATEMENT UNTIL 2:45AM CDT
Issue Time: 12:40AM CDT, Saturday Oct 23, 2004
Valid Until: 2:45AM CDT, Saturday Oct 23, 2004

ALERT 2 - Flash Flood Watch

TX COUNTIES: BANDERA-BEXAR-BLANCO-BURNET-COMAL-EDWARDS-GILLESPIE-HAYS-KENDALL- KERR-LLANO-MEDINA-REAL-TRAVIS-UVALDE-WILLIAMSON- 311 PM CDT FRI OCT 22 2004 FLOOD WATCH UNTIL 6:00AM CDT
Issue Time: 3:22PM CDT, Friday Oct 22, 2004
Valid Until: 6:00AM CDT, Saturday Oct 24, 2004

i'm melting! i'm melting!

uhm u gotta love texas. i don't remember the humidity being like this.

first u feel something trace down your neck to your back and u look to see if it's a spider or some other kind of bug... only to find that a great bead of sweat has now found it's way to the pool of prespiration in the curve of your back just above your belt line. not the greatest discovery.


woman: it's warm out there.
me: r u kiddin? it feels like hell out there
woman: escuse me?
me: uh, i said, "hello! out there!"
woman: uhm, that's what i thought u said.
me: well, i'm heading to the pool for a swim.

shine mle shine

oh the intense humidity. it's insane here... i totally forgot that texas was like this. uhm... i know why i like autumns in the nw.

come fly the friendly skies...

tomorrow i'll be trusting myself to the pilots of a new airline that i haven't even heard of before... i usually don't mind flying, but after that experience on China Air (don't ever fly china airlines! they do not possess the same travel safety laws as most airlines, among other things...i'll share that story another time) plus, i think i am getting tired of traveling alone. i had a nice hour flight from calgary to vancouver bc just two weeks ago and then that 8 hour train ride... both alone... sure it was relaxing, but could have been better spent catching up with a friend, cuddling with my man, or something... one of these days... i'm gonna... well, anyways...

a booger a day keeps the doctor away...

i over heard someone say this the other day...

"well, one time i didn't get sick during a whole season because i ate my boogers..."

woah, way too much info there....

### chugga chugga toot toot ###

memories from an amtrak train ride:
sunset, water, mts, farms, sky (pink, blue, orange, green), sky diver, darkness in the shadows ---poof! just like that in a matter of seconds, moon light, harbor lights, pier lights, peace arch, rocking of train, noises, the people, immigration into US...(declaring yarn, knitting needles, eye glasses, and maple surup(of course).

time

if it doesn't take time, then it's not according to life.

fools waste time, wise redeem the time.

"redeem the time because the days are evil,..." - eph something.

"be on time, be on time." - a hymn

"time is a gift given to you, given to you your whole life through, to have the time, to have the time of your life." - the phantom tollbooth

i wrote a poem on time once... maybe i'll go find it and print it here... when i have the time. (ha ha ha)

fried ocra

i love fried ocra!

couldn't stand it boiled when i was a kid... but fried ocra, Mmm Mmm Mmmmmm. gotta have it. cuz i crave it.

recipe for fried ocra from danny and carol crapps:

(1) wash and cut into small pieces
(2) add pieces of sweet onion
(3) shake together in zip lock bag
(4) fry in canola oil
(5) salt and pepper
(6) put in a cup to nibble on while driving to a home meeting

yumm yumm yummy!

puff... cough cough!

announcement on train upon arrival in portland... " we have a stop in portland for smoking and fresh air "

(uhm, helllllooooo!? peeeopppllle! ! it's obvious the two do not co-exisit! cough! cough!)

oh my!

ok, so i used that button at the top of every blog site that says, NEXT BLOG. only to be linked to this incredibly funny, ironic (b/c i've recently taken up knitting) site. http://queerjoe.blogspot.com/
it's about male knitters. well, maybe they're gay... well, probably they are, but anyways. you know, since i have been up here in canada and have been found to be knitting in public, many men actually admit to me that they once learned how to knit... when they were like 10, they would say, and their granny taught them. interesting.